Zambia the Christian nation…Really?


With the current state of affairs in Zambia, I wonder, are we really doing justice to the name we profess. I also wonder, is it even right to impose Christianity on a nation when it’s something so personal?

I’m one of those who have rejoiced at the declaration but over recent months I wonder if at all we are not dragging Christ’s name in the mud. I’ve heard it said, “Zambia will be governed under Christian principles” but that has not been the case since the declaration was made. There is no justice in our country and I believe we cannot blame the current situation on the government but ourselves. I do not mean to say that our country has no good happening…there is a lot of good going on. But if we want to keep flying Christ as our country’s banner, there is no room for apathy.

In a Christian nation, children should not be living on the streets fending for themselves. The poor should not be oppressed. Pollution would not be as high because we wouldn’t just bury our heads in the sand while the vulnerable ingest lead. Fear would leave, and the need to do what is right would take over. We wouldn’t be so moved by competing with each other wanting to be the best dressed or to have the best weddings or best cars because Christianity pulls people out of ditches not burying them as we rise to the top.

Yes, we have a rich culture, where we believe in taking care of each other, but then how did corruption become so rampant? If we are a Christian nation, why isn’t it visible in our treatment of prisoners? In our care for the sick? If we are a Christian nation, why isn’t it visible in the integrity of our education system? Why do we pay bribes to those in authority just to get the services that should be and on paper are entitlements? Why isn’t it reflected in how we choose our leaders? Why do teachers just get transferred to another school when they get a school girl pregnant? Is that in any way, a reflection of Christ? When a woman is photographed with her legs in the air, having a papsmear done and pasted on a news website, is that a reflection of Christ? When we allow people to take photos of the vulnerable without their consent and use them to show the plight of our people is that right???

I am not calling for the removal of the clause but for an evaluation of whether Christ sits on the throne in the minds of Zambians as we claim. What do people see when they look at our country, do they see love or greed, a spirit of servitude and humility or one of pride and “what’s in it for me?”? Do they see Christ?

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Last day of 2012


Today for me marks the end of a very blessed year. When this year started, I was pretty close to rock bottom. I remember staying in the house the whole day, only coming out at night when my sister came home from work. I was bitter, resentment filled and angry. I was scared to leave the house because I felt if I did I wouldn’t come back. I imagined myself jumping in front of the train or just getting on the train and not coming back. I felt trapped and not needed.

Over the last 10 years I’ve experienced emotional strain and extreme darkness where I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day but I wasn’t willing to give up and I always came out of it but 2011 for me was the year I lost all fight…I crumbled…I felt crushed under the weight of my life this far, crushed by yet another failure, loss of loved ones, the loss of a friend. I felt crushed by my inability to get over my past, crushed by my inability to love the ones around me. What mother resents her own? Yet my love for my daughter was still present.

I had lost sight of what was important. I had allowed my problems and insecurities and people’s views to finally matter where they never had. I had allowed fear to reign in me. for grief and anger and resentment to become me. I remember talking to my brother on the phone, laying on the bed, tears flowing, unable to control them. I was unable to hold it all together. I remember him saying “you have a love affair with where you are at.” That was in January 2012. He had been talking to me about crying out to God but I couldn’t do it. I was in pain and yet I wasn’t willing to submit because I was afraid that what lay ahead with God might just be more painful. I felt wounded afresh at the loss of friendship. I remember writing “You healed only to wound again.”

At that point I had tried to get in touch with a counsellor and had failed. I remember talking to my parents and not being completely honest with them but at least the doors of communication had been opened and on my terms, eventually managed to find a counsellor. I remember invading my sister’s room and telling her things I’ve never told anyone else before. I had to be honest with my leaders at church. I remember sitting talking to my counsellor and telling myself I wouldn’t cry and yet breaking down.

I remember living with my brother and his beautiful wife, my elder sis and them challenging me to be better. I remember the birth of their child and the joy it brought…I remember mum coming and the blessing she was  to me. I remember connect group meetings…3 different groups where I was challenged…one controversial but causing me to analyse and re-evaluate where I stand. I remember a friend challenging me, refusing to accept I wasn’t okay, challenging me in my Christian walk. I remember getting to my counsellors house and telling myself many reasons why I should not knock on the door. I remember feeling like I had failed because I couldn’t get my life together on my own. The hardest thing for me to do is depend on people, even my family. I remember deciding to tell people the truth about going for counselling when they asked what I had been up to and it helped me get over the shame of it. I remember crying to God and journaling and praying and laying things bare before Him. I remember advice and hugs from those who have my best interests at heart. Those I kept up late when I needed advice or just a listening ear.

This year I got some of my confidence back. I had allowed life to reduce me to an unsure fear filled person and counselling was where I learnt I was really okay, not consumed by my past and I had to re-learn to be comfortable in me. To own my choices from here. Yes listen to what people have to say but in the end decide on my terms what course my life will take, because in the end, I can never blame anyone else for what I do wrong.

2012 for me was the year I saw a counsellor who helped me deal with some of my issues. I am in no way at the destination of wholeness but I’m on the way. It was the year I saw more transparently my father’s heart. I saw the restoration of a friendship I never thought possible. My nephew was born. My daughter turned 10, like previous years it has been a continuation of my journey. Where I see God’s hand. It was the year He again bent my knee to His will when I was unwilling and unable to within myself. It was the year I saw the most progress in my fight for purity. It was the year I stopped running. The year I attended a leadership course, the year I performed my own written poems live. The year I finally finished medical science. I got to get involved with life changers who are scattered around the world. people I love got engaged and married, babies were born in our family. This  year, my hope was restored.

So why am I telling you all this? Isn’t it funny how you hear Christians talk about going to the doctor for a common cold and demanding antibiotics when there’s no need for them, forgetting that Jesus is the great physician by whose stripes we are healed, and yet the same people will stand and declare that your faith is weak when you see a counsellor for emotional turmoil? We’re all different and while others have no need for counselling, others do. Do whatever it takes to get out. You can never tell whats around the corner. Darkness is relative to light. just because the sun is on the other side of the world doesn’t mean it stopped shining. Just because one door closes doesn’t mean you’re closed in. Sometimes all that’s stopping the light from trickling in is the walls you’ve built. Remember when in a dark room, you can’t see further than a few steps ahead of you and sometimes you can’t even see yourself. But feel around, stumble and even fall, if you take your eyes off the darkness and your predicament, you might just turn a corner and find hope, little rays of sun where there  seemed none, blocked by that one wall. Don’t give up! It’s okay to ask for help. Also never forget, that behind the smiles we see, there might just be more pain than we realise and you might just be what the other person needs to get through. Happy New Year and for those who have walked with me this year, may God bless you. Looking foward to 2013

Feminism is as vice…a lot like other things that end with ism


Women and men are equal. We’ve all heard those sayings meant to empower women, right? “Everything a man can do a woman can do better”, “There’s no difference between men and women.” But is there really a need to fight for equality by burying the differences that men and women have? Why not celebrate the similarities as well as the differences. Rather than aiming to be better than men or be like them, why not aim to be the best woman possible?

You don’t fight for equality by reverse sexism. Create a level playing field where people are appointed to positions because of capabilities and not their sex, but remember still that some capabilities are enhanced by sex because of hormones. For instance, men are stronger than women because of testosterone. Does that make us less equal? No! We have calls for legislation calling for companies to appoint a set number of women to executive jobs. Problem with that is even when a man is more capable, he misses out on a deserved position. If equality is what we want, then we have missed the point. Do we really want to get jobs because of our sex rather than the fact that we are capable?

Men and women are different and whether we like it or not, men do not have the anatomy to carry a baby, nor do they breast feed. And whether we like it or not, men are stronger, physically than women based on the simple fact that testosterone beats oestrogen. Testosterone causes increased muscle mass, which then means more strength. Does that make me less equal to men? No! it just makes me different. Fact is I need maternity leave because yes, being pregnant is hard work! It is life threatening work! But it doesn’t in anyway mean I’m a less valuable entity in the work force.

I wonder which woman or group of women decided that stay at home mums were wasting their talents or that working mums are bad mums. You have women feeling guilty about not staying home with their children wanting to feel superior to those staying home and those staying at home trying to fight for recognition. But in the end, we make our choices differently.

Part of being the best I can be is admitting that I can do a lot but can’t do everything, and I can do a lot better than men but not everything they can do. Just like they can do a lot better than me but they can’t do everything. We need each other, time to put the pitch forks down and work together!

#Vivateamcelebratingwomanhoodandmanhood!

Zahara


one of the best musicians the world has seen

one of the best musicians the world has seen

Zahara; there’s only one word to discribe her voice: WOW! This woman can sing! She’s a South African musician and even though part of this blog is dedicated to teaching people about Zambia, just had to share because I can’t get enough of her. So here’s a video  of her song Ndiza, posted by Rocky12345 on youtube, complete with Lyrics . I do not know how correct the lyrics are as I am not Xhosa nor South African, but from searching online, they seem pretty correct. The same channel has more of her songs with the lyrics so happy listening 🙂

Traits worth having


this is pretty much a celebration of the traits that I think really make me proud to call my mayo (mother) my mum.

1. has an immense respect for elders and people in authority. This for her is not something she forces but more a trait that’s every bit a part of her. Regardless of where she is, she will not dishonour someone elderly,no matter how seemingly deserved it would be. This just had to be at the top because it’s what came to mind first before anything else.

2. My mum is welcoming and caring. Anyone and everyone is welcome in her house. She’s generally a very happy person and I’m sure everyone who knows her will agree with me on that one. In fact right now, instead of going to bed she’s up prepping for tomorrow’s lunch even though the plan was to rise early because she wants to make sure that everyone who walks through those doors will be blessed and as with most Zambian homes, you need no invitation to visit. I remember many years ago, in Chingola, she came home with a girl we all assumed was a relative…we found out later that this young lady just happened to be walking on our small dust road and she didn’tknow where she needed to be so mum took her home and she did find her way home the following day. I also remember children loved my mothers house, growing up, during holidays, our house was a full house…though it can be said that our house was always full house…and experience I will always treasure.

My mum’s a nurse and I’ve seen her work till late if she has to to get her work done.  She feels for the people she’s caring for. When she worked at Nchanga north hospital in Chingola, I remember hearing her say, “If the bathroom is not clean enough for her or her family to use, she’s not going to put her patients in there either “:)

3. Strength: My mum is one of the strongest women I know. She has an internal strength beyond words. Growing up has afforded me the chance to hear about her life and over the years and the struggles we’ve been through, I can definitely say, she is a pillar and is unshakable and I credit that strength to the steel that stills her and keeps the structure standing- JESUS!

4. Loyalty: My mum is a very loyal person. She is loyal to her friends, but more so to her family. For her that means both dad’s side as well as her own. She takes her place in the family seriously and for her even those who are seemingly foolish have a place and a role to play. She wants to excel but wants to take the clan with her. Not leaving others behind. Sometimes her efforts are misused and even trodden on, or possibly misunderstood, but she doesn’t stop because of the dream she has that includes more people than just her or her progeny.

letting go of the invaluable


I have been writing poetry for as far back as I can remember. I’ve used it mostly to process my thoughts and my emotions. Generally I can’t write unless under high emotions. I look over the pieces I’ve written and majority of them have been written under despair…In the moments of my life when I felt lost and had no way of getting out. Some have been in anger and grief, some at a point where I just let go, very few in a state of joy, love or peace.

This year has been sort of a change for me. My writing has been more balanced, less sad; I guess a reflection of my state of mind. I have written so much since July and today have to admit that I think I will never see those writings again. I saw them last a month ago, tucked in between the covers of my notebook that I misplaced together with my bible.  To be honest I’m not really all that bothered about losing my bible, not because it’s not important to me but because the notebook contained my quiet time with God; Notes about what I got from reading my bible. Poems I wrote from gems I found in the bible. Poems about loss, poems about love. I can’t get those back. I can get a new bible, and yes, I will have to get acquainted with it but I can’t get those pieces of writing back…Not happy at all but trying to hold on and hope I will find them is just shaking my walk and because of that I have to finally say goodbye…Time to let go of the idol and get acquainted with a new bible, get a new notebook and get back to writing.

One Flaw in Women


beautiful…for all my girls, enjoy

Morning Story and Dilbert

Women have strengths that amaze men…..IT IS THAT
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.

They know…

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Perfecto by B1…a review…sort of


B1 is a Zambian musician who from what I’ve seen of him, likes to sing about life issues, though some of his songs fall into the “rather” category and as such, this post shouldn’t be considered an endorsement of his music. In the song Perfecto, he sings about women being picky in regards to relationships. Basically he starts off by saying congratulations to a 30-year-old woman who has managed to stay a virgin. He then goes further and talks about how “virgin nkote ilibe maketi”- old virgin has no market…directly translated.

The message he’s trying to push forward is that women shouldn’t be picky and shouldn’t be “fault finders” because there is no one who is perfect and that all guys have faults and are fools in one way or the other and that if we keep finding faults, we will end up old virgins.

I agree with B1 in that we women can be very picky but I don’t agree that an old virgin has no market. A man of virtue will see her character and loves her regardless of age. A lot of us turn down guys because we’re scared and rather than face our fears we hide behind “no guy is good enough”. Face your fears, but don’t settle. Better a virgin at 50 than married to useless man. Decide what the nonnegotiables are but don’t be shallow. better a man who’s not good-looking but has a heart of gold, than a self-centred Mr Good-looking. Decide what the essentials are.  Whatever you want, only you know it. My aunt always says, if you want chakolwa (a drunk), tell God and He will give it.

Problem is, a lot of us don’t even know what we want. We’re serial daters, dating anything male, without considering the character. Some of us are willing to give ourselves to any man in the hope that he will love us? But why pursue something that’s out for the taking, with no cost to him??? In the end we lose out because men like to pursue and no man will marry someone they don’t respect. Cross your legs, or be content with losing out. If you chose to wait, know that “virgin inkote” (old virgin) is a very likely possibility, but be willing to carry the label proudly, because at the end of the day, not everything is about sex and not everyone is meant to get married.

Lastly, once married, it’s for life, so yes, I’m picky about important things because I know what I want and will not settle for less. You can watch the song at this link: 

Faith


This is another repost of one of my old facebook posts. It was posted way back in May last year.

“bravery is not the absence of fear”, NOR is positivity the ignoring of circumstances, feelings, horrors of the age. Bravery is getting up each morning in spite of and despite the feelings and pain and fear and living life to the full. possitivity is proclaiming God’s promises despite it all and looking at the circumstances and seeing beyond to what lies ahead because of God. It admits how bad things are but doesn’t stop there…look beyond! Both require FAITH 

Why I consider myself tribalist


Okay, the heading might be a little misleading, I’m not actually tribalists in the real sense of the word, I just happen to be all for preserving tribes and their respective cultures in Zambian Society. My reasoning is simply that diversity is usually a good thing. Just look at the great cultural landscape in Africa and the richness it provides; the different music, the different dances, ceremonies (some of which I don’t endorse). I love uniqueness and I believe that the different cultural practices of different tribes, generally, if we want them to, add colour to our lives. Also having to interact with so many groups of people, who might have slight differences or possibly major ones, does grow our ability to tolerate differences and improves our interpersonal skills.

I believe I was born a half-caste child for a reason ordained by God. I don’t believe any aspect of my being is an accident and it serves a purpose in the master plan. I mean God makes no errors. I’m half Bemba, half Nsenga, they are my heritage and I hold them proudly. I have to say though, before being any of those, I am Zambian, before being Zambian I am human, a family member, mother, daughter, sister, friend…but above all those, I am Christian and as paul said, “there is neither Greek nor Jew”. What should govern my view of the world is Christ hanging on a tree, not what my children will eat, neither maintaining a job nor having a husband and definitely “I’m Nsenga or Bemba, Zambian or Australian.

As hard as it is, the minute I identify myself as Nsenga above all else, I will live my life for the Nsenga people above all others, even to the detriment of other tribes. I am Christian first, and no, I don’t always get it right, but when Christ reigns, I see my traits and characteristics through the screen of “Christ died for the world and asks the same of me” and through that screen, I can live as umu Bemba/umu Nsenga and practice my culture without seeing “my people” as superior or inferior and that can be applied to every area of life.  What is it that governs your view of the world around you?