Last day of 2017

So today 2017 comes to an end. Many people are celebrating that they made it to the end of the year. That, in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, but it’s time to take stock of what’s happening around us and within us. For me, 2016 and 17 saw the worst anxiety I have ever experienced. It was as if I was not in control of my mind anymore. I had gone from the lady who would sing before exams and just not care about the result she couldn’t change after, to a woman who worried about everything. I stripped my blog, and stopped writing. This year, I saw myself going back to my baseline of anxious (or not) and back to a level of trust in God that has seen me being more content with where I am. 

2017 saw me eat my words 🙂 He married me. This man that I love married me and in the words “I do.” God’s innumerable blessings were fulfilled. In my getting married, and being so happy with my husband,  God has set a table before me in the face of my enemies, and the greatest enemy of all Satan. What he intended for God, God went far and beyond in blessing. This year, I saw people I didn’t even expect to bless me, bless me.

My baby grew  a bit more, and I can honestly say, she’s a more resposible young woman, working, and the amount of help she put into planning her mother’s wedding. 2 more years to finishing high school  :). 

I finished my graduate diploma this year and proved to myself that I was capable and while completing that, my family lost  one of its pillars. Ba Shikulu ba Uncle Shaft … lol … don’t  worry about the name, he’s actually my grandfather. He was a gentle bear of a man and I will miss him dearly. His death still doesn’t make any sense, but then, maybe death isn’t meant to … still feels like a nightmare that will one day end. 

This year, close to my wedding, a niece and nephew were born and my sister had twins. One of my baby sisters started her medicine internship and there were SEVERAL weddings. 

My husband graduated, and even though I was not able to attend the graduation,  I am proud of him.  Life happened this year, I achieved a lot, but again not without my family. The words, God “is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all you could ask or think,” rung true and as I go into 2018, it’s all for his glory. 

Forgive my mistakes, I am not going to read through this post 🙂

I seem to write about death a lot, but maybe that’s because I cope better when I put my thoughts on paper, and death is one of those things that I don’t spring back from easily. 

I am trying to understand,  maybe understand isn’t the best possible word. I am trying to come to terms with the thought that God isn’t always going to heal us.

My grandfather passed away a month ago yesterday, and it’s hard to believe because I am away from home and have rarely seen him the last 10 years. He was a kind man and went too early and too young … and his death has left so many questions about the love and healing power of our sovereign God. 

Yesterday, someone said “Faith is not hoping that God will do it,  it’s knowing that he will.” What does thag mean? Were we hopefully praying that he would live? Did we not have enough faith. Did we doubt? 

We all knew that a day like this would come. Christians all across the nation must accept what the law of the land has become. Before the stones fly, I don’t mean accept anything that the bible calls sin as right but accept in that we understand what has been passed and not fret, because at the end of the day, “we know in whom we have believed.”

We must continue to respect people and love them, but above all else, we must love God … That is our call. That might become harder now but like the first Christians, we are not victims but victors, with a God who promises to be with us in the Lion’s den and in the furnace.

So … be still and know that He is God.