The best thing about Christmas is probably time spent with family and friends and this year as we do every year, we had at least 30 people in the house. It was a great day and the days that led up to Christmas, my young sis, my daughter and I decided to bake what would be our Christmas present to everyone who was coming. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun too. Then there was Christmas services at Church…all I can say is I haven’t enjoyed  praise like that is a while. Other than Christmas, it happens to be my 2 cousins’, my uncle’s and mum’s birthdays in the few days before Christmas so we were also celebrating birthdays. Safe to say by the time Christmas night came and people had gone home, our whole household was really really tired!

This Christmas proved very special for us…my 0lder brother proposed to his lovely girlfriend and we are all now looking forward to a wedding soon. it’s funny to think of my brother as a romantic but he is and he couldn’t have picked a better woman! This was the best Christmas present and a great end to the year. God has been really good to us and I am grateful for the endless blessings. As this year comes to an end, a lot has been lost but we have been given so much more than we could have dreamt of. There’s nothing worth more than family and I pray that we all learn to appreciate them more and set aside selfish desires for the good of all those around us.

Zambian breakfast…porridge

This is a recipe for a porridge that I used to love eating as a Child. Still do 🙂

You can edit it to suit your tastes. I know there are people who add egg or soya but my family doesn’t. This recipe contains pounded groundnuts, aka peanuts; so for those with peanut allergies, you can remove the groundnuts. I guess the general idea is that you can tweak the recipe to suit you.

You will need*:
3 tablespoons of mealie meal (maize flour)
2 tablespoons of groundnut powder
cold water
a cup of boiling water
a bit of butter (or not)

1. Add the mealie meal to a pot and add the cold water (enough to make a light paste) and mix until all the mealie meal is mixed in then add the boiling water. switch stove on and stir until thick.

2. Cover with a lid and allow to cook for about 3-5 minutes, splutter can burn so make sure pot is covered

3. add groundnuts, milk (if too thick, the milk will make it lighter) and salt (about four pinches) to taste and mix it all in. Too much salt will leave it tasting like ORS. Cover again and allow to cook for about 5 minutes or until groundnuts are cooked (you can taste the difference).

4. If salt is needed add a bit more, then add sugar and turn off the burner. Add a bit of butter if you like and mix. You can use honey or any other sweeteners you prefer. Serves 3

*all measurements are estimations


There’s nothing that makes me feel older than other peoples birthdays…My younger siblings more than anyone else. Though one that shocks me a lot is my daughter’s. There are four birthdays from the 23rd to the 30th of November. The 23rd happens to be my big mum’s birthday. She is a precious woman in whose house I spent many of my childhood days. Growing up, I always new she was my mum’s sister and was probably in my teens before I fully understood that she was actually my mother’s best friend. Seems dumb I know but I think it explains the kind of relationship that we have with their family. There were times when my parents couldn’t pick us up till late and we spent the night. We spent holidays there, shared in birthdays and hand me downs went between the two houses. I miss sitting pa mpasa after school and talking with her and gleaning from a life lived well. She has been a source of wisdom and when I had a child out of wedlock, she loved me all the more; she defended me. She reminded me I was worth so much and that I could achieve anything.

She loved my child before she was born and the day I went into hospital, all mum had to do was call her and her and her eldest daughter (my sister) were there when we got to the clinic, and she stayed until they had no choice but to go home; same time mum left, and she was back the day after and the day after that. She was there when I was struggling with intense feelings of sadness, when I couldn’t understand why God would let my life go the way it had. Even today, all I have to do is call or text and her wisdom always leaves me feeling at peace. I have always been safe with her and I love her beyond words. Celebrating her birthday leaves me feeling blessed.

baby bro
baby bro

Then there’s the birthdays, other than my daughter’s that make me feel old. Younger siblings! Bwalya, Ndeke and Dalitso; their birthdays are on the 24th, 28th and 30th respectively and they turned 18, 17 and 21. I feel old because I’ve seen all three in Diapers and carried them on my back…

I don’t think I ever carried Mr D but still, he’s my baby brother and even though he now thinks it’s inappropriate for me to say so, he will always be that and that image will never go away. Maybe one day I will manage to get him reading.

I will always love you and Someone like you Karaoke in three generations. Ndeke, Me, Mum and my daughter!
“I will always love you” and “Someone like you” Karaoke in three generations. Ndeke, Me, “small” Mum and my daughter!

Bwalya and Ndeke are just two of the bravest girls I know. Both have faced so much and are still standing. You guys inspire me and I know I can be very mean and love to tease and portray a very harsh no nonsense face but I love you guys and I am inspired by you. Bwalya as SandyI can’t wait to see you guys in the next few years. I can’t believe how big you are and for me the hard thing is to let you be grown because I will always see you as my babies in need of protecting. God will take you places and I know that people will be blessed because of you!

You is home to me

If I could pretend I was not you, I would
Pretend your blood did not flow in my veins. I could
Walk away, if we were not moulded on the same cloud.

If your mother was not mine, I might
Have peace and not want to keep up this fight
For your freedom; for light!

If your child was not my child, embedded
In the depths of my skin, our hearts blended
Into one; hope never ended,

If I had never walked with you,
I could pretend I never felt your dew,
On scared feet, walked through.

We are one, bonded beyond words;
Beyond fears and heart ache, our history links
Us, I can’t forget river banks,

Joyful children, family and friends written
In blood stains that I can never erase, if beaten
Out of me. Home I am smitten

With you and all you could be
Even in strife beauty unfulfilled is all I see!
Zambia, you is home to me.

written November 12th 2013