Why support Compassion or Watoto


I wrote a post on why I don’t support Compassion but this one is an argument for why I should. This is by no means a change in my views that long-term Aid cripples rather than lifts up but an addition to it. As I said in the other post, I used to sponsor but due to financial constraints I stopped. It is a commitment that requires a consideration of where you are and whether or not you can continue paying the monthly $48.

1. Compassion and Watoto are honourable in the work they do.

I once had an issue with Compassion over the way information was presented at a conference and got in touch with them. They were open and apologised and explained their policy and how they do things. I was left feeling more confident in the work they do. They let locals tell them what is needed instead of going in and saying “this is the way things should be done.”
The locals run all the programs. They are clear about what it is they are doing with the money and up to date, I have not seen an ad of theirs that uses falsified information.
The same goes for Watoto. And any person who would stay and help people in a war zone, definitely gets respect from me…

2. There are people in Serious need

I used to often look at Aid adverts especially if Africa was mentioned and think “this is not possible, I grew up in Africa and things aren’t that bad.” But isn’t it funny how we are so quick to say that and yet we get so angry when we are grouped together as Africans. I don’t know how many times I have been asked questions that assume I’ve come from poverty because I am African. I think at least two people even assumed I was a refugee. Considering we know that there are variations in culture and circumstances, doesn’t it make more sense that some countries are well better off than others and that what we have seen, is by no means the norm? there are peaceful countries as well as war-torn ones as well as famine and abundance. In the case of countries like Rwanda, Congo, Uganda, Ethiopia, Somalia, etc. there is a need for outside help and Aid, within reason to help them build. Couple the effects of war with HIV, you have children that need caring for. I have never been to any other countries in Africa except my own and Zimbabwe and South Africa. From what I have heard from people who have been to some of these places that have experienced war, the levels of poverty are beyond words. That doesn’t mean however that poverty doesn’t exist in our country…it exists everywhere.

3. Personal responsibility

I am an African and there are very few Africans who sponsor children. Don’t get me wrong! There are a lot and I mean a lot! of Africans who take care of orphaned children within the family as well as outside. But I used to think why should I sponsor children when I have family who need “sponsorship”. I have family with needs and  that those children have family too. But the reality is in war, families are disrupted. Our Pastor who went to Rwanda recently was telling us how in some cases only one family member out of 74 had survived. So many children were left alone, with no one. As an African, it is my responsibility to take care of my own. I came to this conclusion thanks to my Pastors and because of the convictions that God had been placing on my heart prior to that. But hearing what our pastors saw, and their wise counsel, we have to rise up and take responsibility for Africa. I guess it is even possible to say, for those suffering in the world. Starting with our own but growing to fit the whole world in our hearts.

I still hate the adverts with the swollen bellied children and a fly. But in this world, no one is perfect and you can’t have it all. There are only two organisations of this kind that I find this close to perfect. Compassion and Watoto. So if you are going to sponsor a child, definitely do it through them. Also consider the cost and whether you can manage it before you commit but definitely consider it!

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Still single


People wonder why I’m still single. I’m a 24-year-old who’s never been in a relationship and people are getting worried that if I go passed this age bracket, I might never get married. At different stages of my life, I have had reasons for not being in a relationship. One big one was fear. I was not willing to give a man a chance. Then at one point, I discovered I had my heart set on one man and was unwilling to let go completely. I finally did get close to being in a relationship but his heart was not really in it. I was an option, or at least that was the impression I got.

I had to move on and though there have been offers; not many I might say, I don’t believe in jumping from one relationship to the next, so even though I have never actually dated anyone, it feels right for me that I wait and see where God takes me. Those issues are still there, I guess everyone has their own but I need to work on me and my relationship with God so that when that man finally comes I’ll be ready. I wasn’t anywhere near ready the last time. What does ready look like? “In love with God” is what ready looks like and I am not there yet. I know what I am asking for in a man but I have to be working at being that kind of person. So it’s not a matter of counting works or checking a love metre. When I get to where God wants me before He brings a man, if He has one for me, then a man will be there waiting.

I am single because I am a daughter from a long line of strong men and women; men and women who have shown me to stand strong when I believe in something; women who built legacies alongside their husbands and men who respected their wives and protected them. I refuse to settle for less. If he can’t respect me before he marries me, it won’t matter after.

I am a sister and have younger sisters who need to see that settling is not an option. That there is more to life than a man to buy your Brazilian. That there should be a standard and that it is okay to be alone if God permits (Not yet at that stage). That they are too valuable to settle for a man who only sees their body or a man who is willing to trade them in for pleasure or a man who fills himself with alcohol endlessly or a womaniser. I have seen that too many times; even in my own family. If it did happen that I ended up with a cheat, it should not be because I saw those traits and settled anyway.

I am a mother and I want a man worthy of my daughters affection. The day she was born left no room for men who don’t know what they want. I am too “unstable”! There is no way I am going around adding to my instability by finding myself a man who can’t care for himself. Marriage is not an adoption and I refuse to be a grown man’s mother when I’m called to submit. I want my daughter to see in me, if I do get married, the example that I have seen some before me show. I want my sons and daughters to be blessed by my marriage and not to be maimed by it. I want a man whose example for my sons will leave them loving God, respecting themselves and the women around them; protecting them and not making baby mamas at every corner. I want them to see that I was me and that I was not defined by my singleness or my being coupled. That in whatever state I was in I lived. That I refused to be pushed in a corner and settle for just anyone. That while time waits for no one, focusing on the man I don’t have is daylight robbery. I refuse to let others make choices for me and that the responsibility for the consequences is mine.

I am more than a couple, more than a single woman, I am more than my feelings more than my aging ovaries. I do want to get married but not out of fear of dying alone, yes I am sometimes scared but this is the season of my life and I will live my life as it comes. Along with these things, I want my example to be that I did not sit around and wait for a man but that I lived for God and that nothing held me back. I want to move from where I am and to grow in each season, counting my blessings and not looking at what I don’t have.

Democracy at work


I am not one for giving opinions on other people’s “homes” and I don’t quite appreciate it when other people comment on my home when they have no clue what is actually happening. When it comes to the US government shut down I have heard opinions ranging from the Republicans are just racist and are doing “this” to get the black president out of office, right down to, Obama is stubborn and refuses to negotiate. I will not comment on the ins and outs of what is going on because I am not an American and we will leave that for them to do.

For someone like me who comes from “third world’ country, living in a Western Country, AKA Australia, it looks really bad for America because while we don’t understand completely what’s happening, it looks like a bunch of grown men refusing to compromise and find a working solution. A lot like a Country who is up in everyone’s business, but can’t even run their own Affairs. Constantly deciding what’s best for us Africans yet you can’t even decide on how to fund your own government. That’s how bad it looks and it will take a lot to build credibility.

On the flip side though, it goes to show that man can not be trusted. So many of us look to government to solve our problems, yet this shows us that the people we elect to lead us are just humans, who may or may not represent our best interests and at the end, each community has to find what works best for them. I guess it’s also a good thing that the President doesn’t have all the power. He can’t just act as he wills. Those are safeguards that my country only dreams of. All we can do is pray that everything works out okay

Respect, a perspective on Zambian culture.


Respect…I’m sure many would agree if I said that respect was earned, but this view for me was challenged and has been challenged many times. I used to think myself a very respectful person but every time I think “I’m there”, I’m convicted about seemingly small things be it respect for others or even myself, the call on my life and any number of things.

I remember a vague conversation with one of my brothers (One of the few wise Zimbabweans I know…jokes!)a few years ago and for some reason respect became a topic of discussion. I expressed the view that respect needed to be earned and he didn’t accept that. I was so shocked and asked if he would still respect me if I went around doing things that for some reason or the other are unrespectable. I remember giving an example, possibly something morally “rather –  rather”.

He told me respect was not dependent on whether someone showed themselves to be respectable. That was an “ahhh…” moment for me. I couldn’t argue with him when he asked what the world would be like if everyone disrespected each other because the other person did something unrespectable.

Looking back, I have disrespected the people in my life at one point or the other  and more frequently than anyone else, I’ve disrespected myself at every turn but more importantly every time I show disrespect, for either myself or others, it shows a disregard for God. I disrespect for the Judge who always sees what we do.

There are a few Zambian, more accurately, Bemba sayings that come to mind when I think of respect. One, makes up the words of a very well-known Zambian song…to Zambians, that is. “Mayo wanjebele, uko waya uko, wika tuka ba noko”, which pretty much means, directly translated, my mother told me, where you’re going, don’t insult your mother. Pretty much the meaning is wherever you go, don’t insult your mother or father. It’s a song that calls for us to respect every elder, which is anyone older than you pretty much. The song goes further and says even if a person is a fool, treat them as you would your own parents.

Another saying would be “Kwapa ta cila kubeya” which means, the armpit will never be above the shoulder. My grandmother, loves using this one on me when I complain about her sending me to do something every time my elder sister who’s only a year older than me is around…she just doesn’t seem to send her. Sometimes I can be a nut head! but even when I’m upset with my elder brother and sister…there are things that they don’t tolerate and a lot of the time, I have to submit. And it’s not a case of them “lording it over me” but them making boundaries clear. It should be noted that they are very reasonable individuals who generally respect me too.

Now for many, it might seem like African culture is very “disrespecting” of children, however, I choose to differ. I’m reminded of sayings like “imiti ikula, ee mpanga.” which means, the trees that grow, become forests. This talks about children of today being tomorrow’s leaders. But how does that fit into my argument on respect? Another saying “Amano ya fuma mwi ifwesa, ya ingila mu chulu” which translated is Wisdom went from a mole hill and entered an ant hill much means that a young person can advise the elder. They can give words of wisdom too.

Now, the best way to teach values is to embody them… so what better way is there of teaching a Child, who will one day lead a nation to respect others than to respect them? If a child can offer advice, the person on the receiving end has to respect the vessel from which it is coming for them to value it. And the child who is offering it must do so in a way that recognises that this person they are talking to is older and more experienced and should be given a level of respect too. Without respect and consideration for the other party, we start wars where mere dialogue would have offered a more favourable outcome.

When did the whole world go crazy?


When did the world go crazy?
it seems we are now changing the meanings of things, including legal definition to suit our preferences. Since when did it become fashionable for people to drink till they pass out? Children roam the street late at night, children have no respect for adults or authority and they behave like fools all in the name of rights! We have people who have never had children calling themselves child experts and calling for the change of laws to stop parents disciplining their children. No two children are the same and not all parents are the same. Not every parent is out to harm their child and I think most are discerning enough to know better than the “experts” what is good for their children.

We have taken private intimate acts and put them out for public viewing in the name of  adult entertainment and told our boys that it was okay for men to indulge in pornography and now, as a result, we have raised and are raising men who call themselves “Bitch slayers” and have no respect for women. In a world where it seems people want equality for men and women, isn’t it funny that we then turn around and offer people a commodity that objectifies women and tells men not to respect them? We then give out contraception and condoms to kids and tell them it is okay for them to have sex with whomsoever they choose, when they choose and wherever they choose but are shocked when the age at which children first have sex reduces.

We tell pregnant teens that abortion is okay that “it’s just tissue” but neglect to tell them there is a greater price to pay. How can it be okay to pull a child out of its mother’s womb and before the head exits the womb, puncture the head and suck the brains out? If the child had been born 2 days earlier it would count as a person. So what separates a human being and tissue is whether or not it is wanted or whether or not it exits it’s mother’s womb before it is killed? How can we live with ourselves when we can leave a child to die, alone, crying, in a pile of dirty linen because it was born as a result of a failed abortion? Can that ever be justified? Should a child ever have to pay for our mistakes or those of others? In today’s world it seems a tree has more rights than an unborn child.

In today’s world we compare the fight for homosexual marriage to the civil rights movement of the 50s when the two have nothing in common. People go around killing each other because they don’t agree; people rape homosexuals to get them to go straight, worse still, others burn them. Paedophiles also want a cut in the sexuality debate and so do the polygamists…where do we draw the line if right is only determined by what we feel? Men and women fight to be above the other and in the end both lose out. People walk out of marriages because they have “fallen out of love”, “found someone else”, “come out of the closet” with no regard for the vows they made. In today’s world people’s word counts for nothing and people use “love” as an excuse to follow after selfish desires when deep down it is lust that drives them. Have we forgotten that love is selfless?

Scientists can not explain how they gave evolution “theory” status and yet most defend it as if it were proven fact and treat anyone with a differing view with contempt and a lack of respect. Tolerance…funny how it was never a complement to the tolerated but now has become the word everyone throws around, asking that we accept all world views and yet the minute our views differ from theirs, we become high and mighty and demand they change their “narrow-minded” views. That is the world we live in. Where definitions don’t matter, where truth is relative…

When did the world get this crazy?

If only


Lord, if men would realise that women are to be treasured and protected…not to be used to fulfil selfish desires but to be honoured…that girls will give sex in exchange for companionship, love and respect because they are disillusioned and that their hearts break when that love and respect is not shown…if only men could open their eyes and see that the girl they lie with today, is beauty that they might destroy. Worthy of the respect due a mother; she might one day mother their own son’s wife. That she is a grandmother, mother, wife; she is a child, a sister, a granddaughter, a friend; maybe even your own. If only they would open their eyes and see that she looks enticing, yes, but let the man who she was meant for enjoy her, just as you will one day hope to alone enjoy yours. That they owe their wives nothing less than what they expect, a man who is untouched. That as enticing as she seems, she might just be the seam ripper that makes you come undone…

That we women would open their eyes and see that if he loves “me”, He will wait. He will want the best for “me” even if it means he loses “me” . If only we would realise that compromise leaves us lost and broken…unsatisfied…pleasure lasts a moment but when it’s gone, what do you have left? If only we could treasure what is right and true, closing our ears off to the sweet nothings he whispers and hearing the truth in his words; hearing that we will get hurt and that he cares very little in the end.  Hear the truth in His words…the words of a loving Father…You are precious, loved and need nothing other than Him. That honour and respect; that love does not come by giving yourself away. That letting him have his way with you, deprives you, and if he hasn’t married you, he was no right to you…That there’s something more that awaits you, a man maybe, who will value you. If only we would realise that just because you gave in once, you don’t have to keep giving in, or that just because he denied you your right to “NO!” does not mean you lost the right…If only we realised that just because he ignored your “NO!” doesn’t mean that all men seek to take from us, by force if need be… If only we could see His tear-stained face, with arms outstretched, sweat beading, bleeding  for us, His deeds shouting as loud as His words, I love you this much!

IF ONLY…