This is a poem I recited at the Perth Poetry club this afternoon. “Natasha” is a Bemba word meaning “I thank you”. It is my daughter’s name and as you can guess based on that, this is a poem about her. I wrote it on the 10th of October 2008, enchanted, so to say, by the 6 year old that lay next to me. I normally don’t like telling the story behind the pieces I write because I think poetry should be left to interpret itself and mean what it means to the reader but felt the need for this one. Generally people get the general message of a piece but it can mean different things for different people…So enjoy!

As I look at you now,
I can’t help but wonder,
What great love my father has for me
That He could, without measure, give
Me, not what I was hoping for or prayed for
But more

As I look at you now,
I can’t help but ponder,
What I did to deserve you but know
That I didn’t and don’t

As I look at you now,
I can’t help but wonder,
Why I doubted her so much…
Because I know my love is true,
And so is hers

As I look at you now,
I can’t help but remember
The memories I hold of you
Back then in the cold,
No photos to keep the memories alive, and yet,
My heart holds
Better

As I look at you now,
I can’t help but see you for the first time
And fall for you all over again
Long months that seemed like years,
Not seeing you or holding you;
Not being there
And yet when I look back,
We were never apart
We never forgot each other…

Every night fear shot through me
That you would forget,
And sometimes I wished you would
And yet in a small way, you showed and still show
That that could never be

As I look at you,
I can’t help but remember
How your name is the first
I thought of every morning
And the first and last I mentioned in prayer.

As I watch you now,
I can’t help but wonder
At how God used your soft presence
And Loud absence
To keep me going

As I sleep next to you now and hear your soft breath,
I can’t help but wonder
How my love for you keeps increasing
And sometimes chocks me
As I look at you now,
I want you to know,
I love you