Pictures of You


With you I am a poet, author, artist,
Regardless of who sees what I pen out or
Sketch to paper or who hears what I whisper to the wind…
Without you, I’m a writer with writer’s block.

Words lose their magic, my love for poetry dies,
My imagination fades, I cease to
Enjoy turning pages to enjoy others’ art.
I am unable to create pieces of art that

Leave me inspired, wondering how
That happened, where the words came from or
Where pictures came from or where the simplest of flowers took its form.
Unable to enjoy the company of your creation,

I die and wither like a beautiful rose
Deserted in a desert of my choosing. Unless
I can enjoy the rays of your Son
And draw or paint pictures of you, I am no artist

Written 11/01/2014- 12/01/2014 (about midnight)

Happy new year


Happy new year people! I wonder how many of us celebrate he new year for a reason. I personally love new years because it’s a time to reflect on the previous year and see what you achieved and didn’t achieve and more than that, it’s a new start. I don’t personally set new years resolutions but do set goals…somewhat, and new year is one of those times when you can “initiate clean slate protocol” and start afresh, “forgetting what is behind and looking to what is ahead”.

2013 saw the shattering of dreams and confidence for me, when I got a job that only lasted six weeks and then a series of rejection letters that have left me feeling unemployable, and a friendship that has been left irreparably damaged. But more than that 2013 has been a time of great blessing where I have had my confidence rebuilt as I improved my abilities as a cytologist despite having been told cytology was not for me. I got to be a bridesmaid for the first time, got to take part in two programs that have greatly improved my skills in spoken word. My brother started dating the future Mrs Phiri and we can all look forward to two lovely families coming together. God provided for me to go home and spend time with my family and friends and attend a beautiful wedding and see a grown man cry because he loves the woman he was marrying that much. God gave me the opportunity to see the beauty of being a vision carrier and what happens when we miss what those before us dreamt of achieving and to see how I have failed in many ways, to carry my parent’s dreams and visions.

I’ve seen God move in my life and that of my family and even though lately I don’t feel Him close, I know that He is still moving. Just yesterday what started as a movie simple movie marathon turned into a crying session as I watched Front of the class, then Gifted hands and finally Unconditional. I found myself feeling like I am wasting my life and feeling thirsty for change again. I hope that 2014 will be the year of many opportunities for all of us to start putting people before wealth, before the bottom line and before ourselves. That we will work to lift others up even if it just means buying a homeless person a bottle of water. Friendship doesn’t require that you know a person, sometimes it requires just a little kindness.

Christmas


The best thing about Christmas is probably time spent with family and friends and this year as we do every year, we had at least 30 people in the house. It was a great day and the days that led up to Christmas, my young sis, my daughter and I decided to bake what would be our Christmas present to everyone who was coming. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun too. Then there was Christmas services at Church…all I can say is I haven’t enjoyed  praise like that is a while. Other than Christmas, it happens to be my 2 cousins’, my uncle’s and mum’s birthdays in the few days before Christmas so we were also celebrating birthdays. Safe to say by the time Christmas night came and people had gone home, our whole household was really really tired!

This Christmas proved very special for us…my 0lder brother proposed to his lovely girlfriend and we are all now looking forward to a wedding soon. it’s funny to think of my brother as a romantic but he is and he couldn’t have picked a better woman! This was the best Christmas present and a great end to the year. God has been really good to us and I am grateful for the endless blessings. As this year comes to an end, a lot has been lost but we have been given so much more than we could have dreamt of. There’s nothing worth more than family and I pray that we all learn to appreciate them more and set aside selfish desires for the good of all those around us.

Zambian breakfast…porridge


This is a recipe for a porridge that I used to love eating as a Child. Still do 🙂

You can edit it to suit your tastes. I know there are people who add egg or soya but my family doesn’t. This recipe contains pounded groundnuts, aka peanuts; so for those with peanut allergies, you can remove the groundnuts. I guess the general idea is that you can tweak the recipe to suit you.

You will need*:
3 tablespoons of mealie meal (maize flour)
2 tablespoons of groundnut powder
cold water
a cup of boiling water
salt
sugar
milk
a bit of butter (or not)

Method:
1. Add the mealie meal to a pot and add the cold water (enough to make a light paste) and mix until all the mealie meal is mixed in then add the boiling water. switch stove on and stir until thick.

2. Cover with a lid and allow to cook for about 3-5 minutes, splutter can burn so make sure pot is covered

3. add groundnuts, milk (if too thick, the milk will make it lighter) and salt (about four pinches) to taste and mix it all in. Too much salt will leave it tasting like ORS. Cover again and allow to cook for about 5 minutes or until groundnuts are cooked (you can taste the difference).

4. If salt is needed add a bit more, then add sugar and turn off the burner. Add a bit of butter if you like and mix. You can use honey or any other sweeteners you prefer. Serves 3

*all measurements are estimations

Birthdays


There’s nothing that makes me feel older than other peoples birthdays…My younger siblings more than anyone else. Though one that shocks me a lot is my daughter’s. There are four birthdays from the 23rd to the 30th of November. The 23rd happens to be my big mum’s birthday. She is a precious woman in whose house I spent many of my childhood days. Growing up, I always new she was my mum’s sister and was probably in my teens before I fully understood that she was actually my mother’s best friend. Seems dumb I know but I think it explains the kind of relationship that we have with their family. There were times when my parents couldn’t pick us up till late and we spent the night. We spent holidays there, shared in birthdays and hand me downs went between the two houses. I miss sitting pa mpasa after school and talking with her and gleaning from a life lived well. She has been a source of wisdom and when I had a child out of wedlock, she loved me all the more; she defended me. She reminded me I was worth so much and that I could achieve anything.

She loved my child before she was born and the day I went into hospital, all mum had to do was call her and her and her eldest daughter (my sister) were there when we got to the clinic, and she stayed until they had no choice but to go home; same time mum left, and she was back the day after and the day after that. She was there when I was struggling with intense feelings of sadness, when I couldn’t understand why God would let my life go the way it had. Even today, all I have to do is call or text and her wisdom always leaves me feeling at peace. I have always been safe with her and I love her beyond words. Celebrating her birthday leaves me feeling blessed.

baby bro
baby bro

Then there’s the birthdays, other than my daughter’s that make me feel old. Younger siblings! Bwalya, Ndeke and Dalitso; their birthdays are on the 24th, 28th and 30th respectively and they turned 18, 17 and 21. I feel old because I’ve seen all three in Diapers and carried them on my back…

I don’t think I ever carried Mr D but still, he’s my baby brother and even though he now thinks it’s inappropriate for me to say so, he will always be that and that image will never go away. Maybe one day I will manage to get him reading.

I will always love you and Someone like you Karaoke in three generations. Ndeke, Me, Mum and my daughter!
“I will always love you” and “Someone like you” Karaoke in three generations. Ndeke, Me, “small” Mum and my daughter!

Bwalya and Ndeke are just two of the bravest girls I know. Both have faced so much and are still standing. You guys inspire me and I know I can be very mean and love to tease and portray a very harsh no nonsense face but I love you guys and I am inspired by you. Bwalya as SandyI can’t wait to see you guys in the next few years. I can’t believe how big you are and for me the hard thing is to let you be grown because I will always see you as my babies in need of protecting. God will take you places and I know that people will be blessed because of you!

You is home to me


If I could pretend I was not you, I would
Pretend your blood did not flow in my veins. I could
Walk away, if we were not moulded on the same cloud.

If your mother was not mine, I might
Have peace and not want to keep up this fight
For your freedom; for light!

If your child was not my child, embedded
In the depths of my skin, our hearts blended
Into one; hope never ended,

If I had never walked with you,
I could pretend I never felt your dew,
On scared feet, walked through.

We are one, bonded beyond words;
Beyond fears and heart ache, our history links
Us, I can’t forget river banks,

Joyful children, family and friends written
In blood stains that I can never erase, if beaten
Out of me. Home I am smitten

With you and all you could be
Even in strife beauty unfulfilled is all I see!
Zambia, you is home to me.

written November 12th 2013

Why support Compassion or Watoto


I wrote a post on why I don’t support Compassion but this one is an argument for why I should. This is by no means a change in my views that long-term Aid cripples rather than lifts up but an addition to it. As I said in the other post, I used to sponsor but due to financial constraints I stopped. It is a commitment that requires a consideration of where you are and whether or not you can continue paying the monthly $48.

1. Compassion and Watoto are honourable in the work they do.

I once had an issue with Compassion over the way information was presented at a conference and got in touch with them. They were open and apologised and explained their policy and how they do things. I was left feeling more confident in the work they do. They let locals tell them what is needed instead of going in and saying “this is the way things should be done.”
The locals run all the programs. They are clear about what it is they are doing with the money and up to date, I have not seen an ad of theirs that uses falsified information.
The same goes for Watoto. And any person who would stay and help people in a war zone, definitely gets respect from me…

2. There are people in Serious need

I used to often look at Aid adverts especially if Africa was mentioned and think “this is not possible, I grew up in Africa and things aren’t that bad.” But isn’t it funny how we are so quick to say that and yet we get so angry when we are grouped together as Africans. I don’t know how many times I have been asked questions that assume I’ve come from poverty because I am African. I think at least two people even assumed I was a refugee. Considering we know that there are variations in culture and circumstances, doesn’t it make more sense that some countries are well better off than others and that what we have seen, is by no means the norm? there are peaceful countries as well as war-torn ones as well as famine and abundance. In the case of countries like Rwanda, Congo, Uganda, Ethiopia, Somalia, etc. there is a need for outside help and Aid, within reason to help them build. Couple the effects of war with HIV, you have children that need caring for. I have never been to any other countries in Africa except my own and Zimbabwe and South Africa. From what I have heard from people who have been to some of these places that have experienced war, the levels of poverty are beyond words. That doesn’t mean however that poverty doesn’t exist in our country…it exists everywhere.

3. Personal responsibility

I am an African and there are very few Africans who sponsor children. Don’t get me wrong! There are a lot and I mean a lot! of Africans who take care of orphaned children within the family as well as outside. But I used to think why should I sponsor children when I have family who need “sponsorship”. I have family with needs and  that those children have family too. But the reality is in war, families are disrupted. Our Pastor who went to Rwanda recently was telling us how in some cases only one family member out of 74 had survived. So many children were left alone, with no one. As an African, it is my responsibility to take care of my own. I came to this conclusion thanks to my Pastors and because of the convictions that God had been placing on my heart prior to that. But hearing what our pastors saw, and their wise counsel, we have to rise up and take responsibility for Africa. I guess it is even possible to say, for those suffering in the world. Starting with our own but growing to fit the whole world in our hearts.

I still hate the adverts with the swollen bellied children and a fly. But in this world, no one is perfect and you can’t have it all. There are only two organisations of this kind that I find this close to perfect. Compassion and Watoto. So if you are going to sponsor a child, definitely do it through them. Also consider the cost and whether you can manage it before you commit but definitely consider it!

We Africans are a lazy bunch


I once posted the heading of this piece on Facebook. I was praised by some but on a larger scale was bombarded by anger and disappointment. No doubt people were thinking “yes, tell them!” and others probably thought I was looking down my nose at Africans because I am in the Western World. This is not even in the least a licence for any non-African to say, “Africans are lazy”. Believe me when I say I love Africa; There is no place more beautiful, no group of people more lovely, no culture more rich and definitely no group of people more hard-working.

Okay, so why would I say we are a lazy bunch if I believe we are hard-working? I don’t believe in stereotypes and this is by no means a labelling of a whole group of people. The simplest answer would be the analogy that if Africa were a person, God would not come back today and say “well done my good and faithful servant!” That is the simplest answer I can give based on the fact that Africa is the richest continent there is. We have every resource, starting from people right down to minerals, land and food. I will give an example of a small country in Southern Africa, called Zambia. Compare Zambia and Australia, you find that the soil in Zambia is way better; throw seed on the ground, it grows. The rain comes every single year without fail. Australia on the other hand is mostly desert. The soil is not as rich and the rain not as reliable and yet they manage to produce food and even export it.

We have been blessed with so much and yes, our challenges are huge! The thing is, these challenges are meant to grow us, not make us shrink back and stop trying. We have been ravaged by HIV and AIDS, leaving many orphaned, yet we are not leading the effort to find a cure. Malaria is stunting the growth of  our economies and yet there is little effort on our part to get rid of it. We are at the mercy of pharmaceutical companies that have no need to care about Africa. We allow people from other parts of the world to dictate how we run our countries. When the west came with baby formula saying it was better for babies, we let them in and even though we still breast feed our children, they came back years later to teach us how to breast feed. We allow ourselves to be shown as incompetent because at the end of it we will get some money.

Instead of working hard to develop our countries, our politicians are lazy and power-hungry only concerned with lining their pockets, forgetting that the Africa they are building will be the Africa their grandkids occupy. Our mines are owned by foreigners and we all sit back and watch as what is ours is taken from us, tax-free. How can a continent so rich be so dependent on the western world for Aid??? Why is there no justice in our own countries when the one victimising us is a foreigner? Why have we made ourselves so vulnerable? How long will we cry colonialism and how long will we blame the world for our failures?

Belgium and France might have divided the Rwandans but it was a African leader who was too lazy to do his job that he decided it made sense to make a difference as small as tribe be what people focused on, and it was the people, marching with weapons who chose to kill, regardless of who shot the Presidents plane down or who supplied the weapons. It wasn’t Britain that bought designer suits using Zambian Tax payers money while education standards were falling. It wasn’t Britain dividing and conquering us, as people took to the streets with weapons because their political party had internal fractions. It wasn’t colonial masters that took farms by force in Zim and after the white farmers left, it wasn’t them that failed to manage the farms. Yes sanctions were imposed but there was still a whole continent willing to trade with Zim. In the same vein, it wasn’t the Colonial “masters” that mismanaged ZCCM to a point that we couldn’t run our mines. The examples are endless.

We keep pointing to what the Colonial “masters” did but our choices today are ours and we have to take responsibility for them. Our street kid problem can not be blamed on the “powers that are trying to divide and conquer Africa” but us! We have failed to take care of our children. And as long as we blame “them”, aren’t we then saying, we are still under “them”?

I know there are a lot of people who spend sleepless nights studying for exams. There are people tilling the land and people working endless hours trying to provide for their families, but in a sense like the servant in the bible, we have buried the gifts given to us and refused to multiply them. And it seems that even that which we have, is being taken from us.

When God gave  the bags of money to the servants, he gave them each according to their ability. We have been given so much! Have we really realised how able we are to change the lives of our people? We can bless the world! Why would God choose us, to give all this wealth to? Considering to whom much is given, much is required, have we really lived up to the requirements of our gifts?

The issue isn’t how hard we work as individuals but that we as a continent, are waiting for the world to solve our problems. I was asked what I was doing to change my country and continent because all I do is talk. I don’t claim to know it all. I know I am part of the problem and I hope and pray that we will rise up and fight this fight to see ourselves as worthy of more. That we will be able to say “I am responsible for my country and continent!” if anyone has interfered with the goings on of my house, it is because I have let them!

Yes, maybe lazy isn’t the best term but I have racked my mind to find a better term and cannot. We need to stop looking at greener pastures and complaining about what we don’t have and start working with what we have because it is so much more than we realise.  Being in Perth for 6 years has made me realise just how blessed we are as Africans. To whom much is given, much is required and considering how much we have been given, we will be held accountable for a lot!

A21 Campaign walk for freedom


So, was going to say that today was the A21 Campaign walk for freedom but it was actually yesterday, missed it by a few hours. My mum and I walked today but we didn’t finish the whole 7 km walk because we got lost on our way to the starting point and were running late because we had been cooking for an event at our Church, which happened to be African Night.

There are people suffering out there and this might sound self-centred but just walking and donating money towards a cause like this, I think is a good way to help make better choices. In the fight for purity, it’s always a good thing to be reminded that behind the pornographic video or photo there might be a woman who is enslaved. Two slaves; the consumer and the one who matters most, the victim.

Before you access pornography, remember, there is a person on the other end, who in a lot of cases does not want to be where they are. Before you enter a brothel, remember that too. There are so many people who call for the legalisation of the sex trade but do we ever consider the ramifications of such a move? Even if brothels were regulated, so many people would slip through the cracks, especially in countries where corruption is rife.

I pray that God gives us enough compassion for the many who are enslaved by our selfish desires. That even when temptation arises, we will see our own children, family and friends exploited and that “that” will keep us sane enough to say no. Its only in saying no that an industry this big can ever be overcome. On a deeper level, that His love and grace will penetrate to the depths of our hearts and render us only slaves to Him.

49 years of independence


We went from “one Zambia, one nation” to a nation whose leading party is split and their cadres killing each other in a space of less than 50 years. This has never happened in the History of Zambia. Zambians are known to be peaceful people and now here we are 49 years after fighting for independence from Britain with a ruling party without leadership. People have often said how hard times were  during  President Kaunda’s time but I don’t think it ever got to a point where people marched with ama panga hacking others to death. I might be wrong because I wasn’t there but I have never read or been told of such lawlessness or disregard for lives.

Kaunda united us with a motto of one Zambia one nation. His ministers where not of a particular tribe and despite his failures, we became one people under him. Chiluba came on the scene and apparently made things better for Zambians. Even though he was not my favourite of people, he had respect for life. He declared Zambia a Christian nation and people applauded him, all the while taking what belonged to Zambians and setting himself up. But in a sense he still united Zambians. Then Mwanawasa came and fought corruption that had entangled our country…a vice on steroids. He died and our country went to the Dogs. President Banda took the country back further than we would care to admit and now President Sata.

I shake my head not knowing how to say the truth whilst being respectful of a man who makes it hard to respect him. The PF government is bickering within itself. Our President has no respect for world leaders. He has insulted the Tswana people, insulted the Nigerians. Should that surprise us when even before he became president he was insulting the president as well as Zambians? Zambians are peaceful people. We prided ourselves in that but now how can we say that when for the first time cadres have walked our streets with weapons, and hacked themselves to death.

Have we forgotten what has happened in the countries around us? What makes us think that we can ever win if we turn on each other? What country will we leave for our children? Have we hardened our hearts so much that we can’t hold life as sacred? We shake our heads at what the whites have done to us or what the Hutus did to the Tutsis or what Mugabe is doing but what makes us think we are any better??? The volcano is erupting and for the first time in my life I am ashamed of what we Zambians are becoming! Our people need leadership that embraces all people and keeps itself in check. Elders have to show themselves respectable and I am sorry to say that I do not believe our elders have done that.

So much for our President claiming that our country will be run on a Christian foundation. Many people claim that the Colonial masters came in with a bible in one hand and a gun in the other. Our Politicians come in flying the banner of Christ while stealing from the most vulnerable. Our President needs to lead his party before his party can lead us. We need to become One Zambia – One Nation again! ;(